some particular People can very easily make me very happy... so do they very easily can hurt me very painfully and deeply... I cant' take it any longer. I am just so desperate and so angry with me only that I don't have this power, so called volition, to keep me away from them.. cos there is nothing there... it is just result of my fantasy, my idealistic mood, my positive perception...

so many "Why?" I have... and so many answers I have... actually I know all the answers to all my questions... but, it still doesn't work...

My mood is killing me! Am I a psycho?

I want to write down a lot but I can't... I should have registered incognito account first... but another part of me wants people to know me and what is inside... They might be very surprised, but (now I should write "I don't care..." ) but .... I do care! And I confess that I am so fucking dependent on other's people opinion and I can't... because of this I feel solitude... I have nobody I can share this... and ... I cannot even explain this to me...


being briefly ... the scheme is simple

-Am I happy?
-No
-Why?


.....
Oh! Damn! The answer is soooooooo stuuupid!!!!!! I can't share this because it is soooo fucking stupid...  Just kill me!!! Give me a gun! Shoot me! :p Now I am laughing at me... it so stupid! shit!!! Now I feel better!!!! hahaha... lol I am even laughing at me right now!!!

I am a psycho.... ))))))) I feel much more better, thank u, ma dear blog page!